Category: Explore & Get Started

Lighten Your Load As You Move On To What’s Next

Make a start

We’re ever changing  human beings living in an ever changing world. I believe that the call to something more never stops for us.  Many of us, at midlife and beyond, continue to answer that call as we create something new for ourselves.

I’m a big believer in the power and importance of making a start. That’s the mission of my business – to help people get clear and get started on what’s calling them next.

Then let go

But I also think that letting go of what’s no longer serving us is just as important. When we begin something new, we also begin to add a lot more to our lives in terms of ideas, tools, resources, and commitments. It only makes sense to be letting go, too, in order to make room for the new.

These are some of the areas where I knew I needed to clear some clutter to allow for a better flow of new ideas and resources:

Paperwork from old jobs

I held onto articles, books, letters of recommendations, employee evaluations, position qualifications, etc. Most of this I would never use again.  I scanned a few basic records and shredded the rest.

Old personal and household records

I had tax and medical records going back over 20 years. I learned what I had to keep and shredded the rest.  Then I tossed old warranties, appliance instructions, old address and phone books.

Household items

I had taken quite a few items belonging to my grandmother, mother and father after they passed away. I also had antiques my husband and I collected together. None of it any longer suited my situation. I gave some thought to the best way to pass on each item, and let it go with no regret.

Commitments

Much had changed for me during the decade between my 40’s and 50’s as I focused on a new direction for myself. I now went to bed and got up earlier, siblings and friends often had different focuses now that our kids were grown, places I liked to go and things I liked to do were evolving with me. I gradually let go of set commitments and allowed for a more spontaneous approach

Books, CD’s and DVD’s

I never thought I’d reduce the number of books I owned, but I did. I gave many away. Now I use my kindle for all fiction that I buy and I get a lot from my local library on loan. As for nonfiction, I review my collection regularly, and almost always find books I’m finished with.

Digital records and social media

My gmail folders can quickly get out of hand, and the same for my computer business folders. A couple of times a week, I set a timer for 30 minutes and go through and clear all that I can. I do the same with my social media accounts. I remove the negative and superfluous from my feeds.

Guilt, comparisons and all that negative stuff

Taking charge of my own mindset was critical to my moving forward in the way I wanted. Through a lot of inspirational reading and the practice of meditation, I became very aware of my thoughts and practiced keeping them positive and focused.

One more thing

Most of this is ongoing for me, and I dedicate small chunks of time to it regularly. If you find that you want to give it a bigger effort and time commitment, these are some resources to try:

 

Have you tried something different that  worked for you  Please share with us in the comments below.

 

 

 

Three Steps to Get Started on What’s Next

I’m a long-time educator, but I eventually got to a point in my life where I no longer wanted to be in a classroom everyday. While I still enjoyed teaching, I wanted more.  I wasn’t sure what would be next for me.

I took some short-term positions for a while, so that I could explore what interested me. At that time, my interests included writing, making a difference in people’s lives, and freedom to choose my own hours. So I explored both online and out in my community. Because I had a lack of focus, I mostly had scattered results.

It took me almost 10 years to make a decision about what I wanted to do next and to implement it. This was partly because I didn’t realize I had the right and the ability to design what suited me.  So I wasted a lot of time, energy and money. Eventually, I developed a three-step process for myself to finally get clear and get started on what I wanted to be doing next.

Step 1

First, I focused on clarity. The idea of leaving a lot of options open for myself appealed to me – I liked writing, teaching, problem solving. I enjoyed working with young children, but I liked helping adults learn, too.  But keeping everything open was  keeping me from moving forward. Also it kept me from the satisfaction of pursuing what I really wanted and having success. When I began to see this, it made all the difference in how I proceeded next.

  • I put it all down on paper in  a numbered list, and looked for the similarities among my interests and divided my list into just three general categories.
  • Then I turned my attention to the things that came up in my life connected with each category.
  • I kept track and wrote them all down in a new list for each category – emails, stories, images, ideas, opportunities etc.
  • I found that one category stood out – working with people at midlife and beyond who felt called to something new. That was my next thing, at least for now.

“Starting is the first step to succeeding.” – John C Maxwell

Step 2

Second, I knew I had to make a commitment to pursuing my new thing.  And not just a personal commitment, but

  • a public one
  • one that involved at least one other person
  • one that carried a substantial consequence if I didn’t follow through.

For me, it was mostly a financial commitment – investment in a website, tech tools, coursework.

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes…but no plans.” – Peter F Drucker

Step 3

Third, I knew the right resources would give me the confidence to achieve my dream. There’s a wealth of resource, especially online. But that worked against me in a lot of ways. Mainly, it kept me in a cycle of overwhelm, frustration and disappointment. After a lot of mistakes, I realized a few things.

  • My best resources and models would be from those people who were just a few steps ahead of me, not the big successes who spent years getting to where they were.
  • Resources for me had to strongly resonate. Advice from experts is good, but I discovered my path would be my own, blazed by me.
  • Many different paths lead to the same end. For a while, everyone used webinars to grow their businesses. Then live workshops. Now it’s challenges. Some of these things I feel comfortable with, some not so much. I get to decide. I learned to trust that.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. – Arthur Ashe

The three step process I developed worked for me, so I’m passionate about sharing it with others at midlife and beyond who want to get to what’s next .  If you’re ready to get started on what’s calling you, I invite you to download a step-by-step guide with email support to do just that!

You CAN start your next chapter, even though you’re not sure WHO you are anymore. Sign up below and stop worrying about figuring it all out, and start creating the new life you want and can feel good about.

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How to Find the Advantages Aging Has for You

During my 50’s I began to question our cultural notions about aging, loss and deterioration. I had people close to me just give up on life at this point in their own lives. Something within me knew that growing older shouldn’t be so dark and gloomy. So I began a quest to find what was good, and positive, and promising about midlife and beyond. You can read about the advantages I invite you to use the steps that follow to start on your own quest for the advantages aging has for you.

Change the Conversation

“Get out of the cage of age” are the words that Christiane Northrup, M.D. uses when she urges us to change the conversation around aging. Before trying to change the conversation in society at large, she says to start with the conversations you have within yourself around aging. Dr. Northrup, an expert in health and wellness, gives some excellent tips on how to do this in her guide 12 Ways to Remain Ageless.

Change Your Mindset and Focus

Rather than looking for and finding only the physical changes that came as I grew older, I turned my attention to some of the nonphysical perks I was enjoying. I promise if you look, you’ll find some. They may not be the same as mine,  but they will be there. That’s your start. Just be aware of what you feel good about and grateful for. Make note of it. Write or talk about it. Then just practice it. Daily and consistently.

Look Beyond Your Own Aging

Once  you are aware of the benefits and practice feeling good and  grateful, you’ll pick up on more and more reasons to believe that you and your life have value and meaning. You will see other people 50+ living lives of joy and purpose in ways that you never imagined. Look for examples and pay attention to what comes your way. Celebrate possibility. Then look for your own opportunities.

Answer What Calls To You

Usually the first sign that you have a calling to something more is a strong desire to share. You have a skill, a talent, an idea or opportunity that you know can add to general  good. That’s when you’ll know that there’s something next for you. Take the time to sort out your gifts and your blocks to sharing. Then you can get yourself ready to make a commitment to answer the call.

Find Resources That Resonate

This is the part where you get to take joy in the journey. The gift that you have to share is already within you. But the path you are to take will show just one step at a time. There are people, happenings and things that will serve as door-openers and guides. You’ll know them when they show up by how well they resonate with you and your purpose. It’s taking the steps that will be so rewarding.

What advantages have you found in the aging, and how have you been using them? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Self-Expression is Your Gift to the World

Desire To Share

Chances are the first inkling you had of a calling to do something new, or great, or different came to you in the form of a desire to share. You want the world and the people in it to be better in some way. Whatever shape your next thing takes, you are probably looking to make a positive impact. Since you want to share it, you know you already have it within you. You can’t share what you don’t have.

Release Your Blocks

Even when you have already received the gift you’re meant to share, you struggle and it may look like this:

  • You fear that you will be judged by others.
  • You doubt that you can really do this or that this is yours.
  • You feel guilty for not doing “real” work or for having something good.
  • You believe you don’t know where or how to start.
  • You worry that someone will take it away from you.

The anecdote to this negative thinking is to give yourself permission to feel, be grateful for, and express your gift. That’s the magic that allows you to share. Take the first steps, even if they’re wobbly ones. It gets better as you go.

Express Your Gift

Maybe you’ll write a memoir, create beautiful stained glass artwork, teach kids to read, start a business, perform on stage, or encourage someone else to grow. It’s your gift to express in your own unique way. That’s not to say that you have to do this alone. Probably you won’t. For the things in ourselves that we cannot see and the path that remains hidden to us, there are door openers and guides that serve us. Train yourself to be aware of them when they show up.

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How do you want to express your awesome gifts to the world? Share in the comments below.

How To Make Your Powerful Midlife Manifesto

Make a Manifesto?

At first, the idea of writing a midlife manifesto intimidated me. Not the writing part. I write all of the time, every morning, in fact. I’ve filled notebook after notebook and still do.

But the “Voice” nudged me to tell myself, “I’m not there yet. I don’t want to get this wrong. It’s too important.”  I bet you know that infamous voice of doubt, too.

The truth is, you can’t get it wrong. It all comes from within you. You don’t have to be looking for the important stuff anyplace else. And you are ready when you feel ready.

So, come on. Feel what’s calling you. Write it down. Make it your truth. You’ll be better for it, and so will the world.

 STEP 1:  List the areas you wish to address

  • Home
  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Worldview
  • Spirituality
  • Wealth
  • Fun

The above are suggestions. Change it to suit you. Add to or take away. Make more general or more specific. This is yours. (For me it’s Home, Health, Relationships, Work & Fun.)

STEP 2:  For each area make a statement of

  • Your values
  • Your beliefs
  • Your intentions

You’ll want to aim for being concise but all-inclusive at the same time. Shorter is punchier and easier to remember. Think “motto” or “words to live by.”

STEP 3:  Keep your manifesto handy for 

  • Clarity
  • Focus
  • Prioritization
  • Motivation
  • Sharing
  • Momentum

You’ll be surprised how often you can use your manifesto. You’ll find that it can kee you on track. I use mine as a guide whenever  I post something on line.

STEP 4:  Have fun putting it together

  • Write it out long-hand and make your own drawings, illustrations, embellishments
  • Play with formats, materials, media
  • Use online graphic tools, like canva.com 
  • Use your own combination
  • Google ” images for personal manifesto” for ideas
  • Just get it down & done

Making your midlife manifesto can be as simple* as that. It is going to reflect where you have been, where you are now, and where you intend to go. 

 

Sign up below to get a PDF guide for writing your manifesto!

What are your ideas for your manifesto? Let us know in the comments below.

 

Life Over 50 – How To Make It The Best

How do you view the continuum of life?

I am changing. I accept my time left is much less than my time already lived. I realize my body will deteriorate and eventually die. But while that process  goes on slowly (I hope) in the background, I challenge the accepted notions of life over 50 based on loss.

I believe:

  • this time of life has as much purpose and joy as any other.
  • this is a time of reinvention, based on all that has gone before, where I am now, and the legacy I want to leave.
  • the continuum of life does seem to follow that standard curve that we all know so well.

    19759236753_6cd2cd8e1f_n flickr post 2 curve PicM

    When we enter the physical realm at birth, our physical-spiritual paths are still very closely entwined. Through childhood, teens and earlier adulthood, our path becomes increasingly more focused on this physical plane. At midlife, the spiritual-physical paths weave back together again. This puts us in an good position, with the wisdom of experience plus an expanded sense of possibility. We’re meant to make a mark that pleases us and is good for others before we return fully to the spiritual plane.

These beliefs have evolved over time for me. I’ve questioned why some people give up on life as they grow older. Do we have to follow a set pattern, or do we have more choice in what we believe and how we age? I think that choice is the key. If we’re not figuring out our path for ourselves, we are definitely missing out on some of the best that life has to offer. 

 Share in the comments below 

What are some commonly accepted ideas and attitudes about aging that simply are not true for you?

 

 

 

What’s Possible For You?

There were hints that new possibilities awaited me.

  • I didn’t stay in a job for long anymore.
  • I was getting job interviews always, but job offers never.
  • I had to answer yes when my husband asked, “Do you think that maybe it’s because you really don’t want the job?”
  • I felt called to pursue my desire to write

I spent the next ten years overwhelmed by the possibilities of what I could do next. While I was grateful to see them, I’d have preferred focus and forward movement much sooner. I let all of the coulds and shoulds get in my way.

Here are some valuable tips that I learned along the way.

  • Just because you are good at something, it doesn’t mean you should be doing it.
  • Be open to the unexpected and consider the uncommon.
  • Let other people serve as door openers, but don’t expect  them to make things happen for you.
  • Trust your “knowing” when it comes to you. It’s your greatest gift.

Once I began to listen to my heart and pay attention to what came my way, things became clearer. It took awareness and practice, but I finally had the direction I wanted to commit to.

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Share your experience and tips in the comments below.   Where are you on the path to your next thing?