During my 50’s I began to question our cultural notions about aging, loss and deterioration. I had people close to me just give up on life at this point in their own lives. Something within me knew that growing older shouldn’t be so dark and gloomy. So I began a quest to find what was good, and positive, and promising about midlife and beyond. You can read about the advantages I invite you to use the steps that follow to start on your own quest for the advantages aging has for you.
Change the Conversation
“Get out of the cage of age” are the words that Christiane Northrup, M.D. uses when she urges us to change the conversation around aging. Before trying to change the conversation in society at large, she says to start with the conversations you have within yourself around aging. Dr. Northrup, an expert in health and wellness, gives some excellent tips on how to do this in her guide 12 Ways to Remain Ageless.
Change Your Mindset and Focus
Rather than looking for and finding only the physical changes that came as I grew older, I turned my attention to some of the nonphysical perks I was enjoying. I promise if you look, you’ll find some. They may not be the same as mine, but they will be there. That’s your start. Just be aware of what you feel good about and grateful for. Make note of it. Write or talk about it. Then just practice it. Daily and consistently.
Look Beyond Your Own Aging
Once you are aware of the benefits and practice feeling good and grateful, you’ll pick up on more and more reasons to believe that you and your life have value and meaning. You will see other people 50+ living lives of joy and purpose in ways that you never imagined. Look for examples and pay attention to what comes your way. Celebrate possibility. Then look for your own opportunities.
Answer What Calls To You
Usually the first sign that you have a calling to something more is a strong desire to share. You have a skill, a talent, an idea or opportunity that you know can add to general good. That’s when you’ll know that there’s something next for you. Take the time to sort out your gifts and your blocks to sharing. Then you can get yourself ready to make a commitment to answer the call.
Find Resources That Resonate
This is the part where you get to take joy in the journey. The gift that you have to share is already within you. But the path you are to take will show just one step at a time. There are people, happenings and things that will serve as door-openers and guides. You’ll know them when they show up by how well they resonate with you and your purpose. It’s taking the steps that will be so rewarding.
Honestly I did not notice my own aging until recently, when I reached my mid 70’s. I enjoyed my life to the fullest and then, due to an unexpected circumstance my life changed, impacting my aging process.
In a nutshell, I created an online business, a sedentary one, in front of a computer or seated at a beading table & I was so enraptured with all I was learning I didn’t notice the weight gain, the resistance to activity and a shift from being on the go to being a homebody.
Now that I am aware, I am committed to transforming it.
Roz, that’s such an interesting perspective. I know that the same has happened to me with working online. These days, I use a timer app on my phone to get me up and moving every hour. My aim is to streamline my online work and allow for a greater variety of activities. Keep us posted and let us know your plans for teansforming your routine. Awareness is very much the key to improving anything in our lives.
You know, it’s funny–age has never really meant much to me. Except sometimes I’m surprised. Lol. But I was always somewhat puzzled when friends bemoaned being 30, 40, 50. And now with 60 coming up, well, except for that feeling somewhat surprised, I don’t think about it.
Maybe that came from my mother, who never thought of age either. Until she was in her early 80s and we were talking about it one day, and she said, “It just sort of sneaks up on you.”
No matter how you go about it, your words here are the key: ” Just be aware of what you feel good about and grateful for. ”
Yes!
Age absolutely does seem to sneak up on and surprise us, Susan. I think that may be partially due to the common attitudes about aging. We’re not necessarily experiencing what’s “supposed” to happen. Your mother, I imagine, was an independent thinker. What a wonderful role model for you. My own mother wasn’t so much, but my grandmother was all through her life.
Great advice, Jane. As I get older, I don’t see myself as slowing down. I hope I never stop and just keep going and enjoying life. This is a great reminder for people at any age. Thank you.
Thanks, Sabrina. I love your plan to keep going and enjoying life.
Because I lost a lot of years in my 50’s when I was critically ill, I really am not as concerned now about age. Having transformed my health, I would say I am healthier now and more alive and vital than I was in many of my younger decades. My life has been a journey back to health. And then I have my 100-year-old mother who is totally un-phased by age and it has never been an issue.
Being part of Dr. Northrup’s health and wellness team, that is one of the key points we share with others as well. You don’t have to buy into a mindset about aging that isn’t necessarily yours. One of the things she also says is, “Getting older is inevitable, aging is not.” And that speaks volumes to me. Another of my favourite quotes is by Abraham Lincoln. “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.” That also speaks volumes to me.
Being proactive about our health at all ages, I know is really the key to living a long and vital life. We don’t have to decline or succumb to so called diseases of aging, as most chronic degenerative diseases are actually related to lifestyle choices. We choose how we age and create the life we want to live. Thanks for sharing your insights, Jane. Yes, each of us is very different.
Thanks, Beverley for your story. I believe that being proactive about our health is at the forefront of making the best of your life. It still seems to be a fairly new concept that we can still optimize our health at any age.
Your comment “Just be aware of what you feel good about and grateful for. Make note of it. Write or talk about it. Then just practice it. Daily and consistently.” Is where I am in life. It is where I should have been all along but now I know. Great wisdom Jane and appreciate it a lot.
Thank you. I arrived in this place kind of the way you have, with a knowing that’s it’s right. I love the increasing awareness I’m experiencing.
Lovely post! I had the same 50s experience that you relate, and I had a tough time for several years. Then my dad died and somehow, his passing eased that burden for me. I do know there are many advantages of aging, including the ability to distill our experience into wisdom and (oddly enough) take a longer view…even though our view is shorter the older we get.
I appreciate that you had that similar experience of hitting the fork in the road in your 50s, too, where you needed to choose how to go forward. I love how you expressed the paradox of it all, Jackie. There’s still so much for us to see, realize and learn.
Just had the gift of realizing I was going to be a year younger than I thought next birthday – it clearly isn’t something I give much thought to. I can’t say I have more time now but I am more determined to spend it in a way that fulfils me so I guess that’s one of the great advantages of ageing.
And an excellent one, Tamuria. I know for myself fulfillment is a driving force. It’s led me to some unexpected things.
Hi Jane 🙂
The most important thing that I have found to aging is just the simple fact that I do not “stress” about the little things anymore lol
I am also finding since hitting my 50’s 3 years ago, I am more patient with myself and I am willing to just get out of my comfort zone and just do something that brings me passion…for example…since I have been online, I have been slowly going down this path of enlightenment and growth, especially when it comes to learning a new skillset that will help me not only in my personal life but in my business as well 🙂
Thanks for sharing this wonderful thought-provoking post!!
Joan, I know what you are describing about following where your passion takes you. I find doors continue to open, not necessarily exactly what I pictured, but good nonetheless. And thank goodness for all of the learning, it does keep me going.
Great tips. I’m clearly not there yet but I am definitely dragging my heels with age… so these are great tips
I’m not sure how young you are Kristen, but I remember dragging my heels! But once I got (in my mind) to that point of no going back, I fully embraced what appeared for me once I started looking.
Sure, I notice some physical changes, but I’m more aware of my health now than when I was younger. People often wonder how I know so much They think I’m very intelligent (ha, ha, I’ve lived longer). It’s true a lot of things come and go in cycles. When they come around again, I can enjoy them even more.
It’s a little bit of an unexpected combination, this focus on our health and an increased knowing! I don’t know about you,Joyce, but for me it’s a kind of an invitation to not take anything for granted.
Thanks you a great post. You are right we should embrace our aging. I for one realize how much knowledge I have gained by living. I plan to continue to live out loud.
I love the idea of “living out loud.” That’s perfect!
Jane, while I do notice some limitations now that I’m in my mid-50s, I’m not letting these things stop me. I’m just getting more creative in finding a workaround. I feel very empowered now that I have decades of experience. I have less time for self-doubt, and I feel Father Time breathing on my neck. I’m an older parent, a lifelong learner, a part-time employee, a gym rat, and an invested volunteer. I’m having a great time. Thanks for being vocal about the opportunities that aging affords. Karen
Thank you, Karen. You put it all so beautifully. I can relate to the fact that you feel more creative in finding a “workaround.” I feel that there are always options and something more to discover. Our later years seem to bless us with the benefit of experience plus a finer-tuned intuition. The present life you’ve created for yourself sounds so enjoyable and fulfilling. Best to you. Jane